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Predator: Big, sweaty men versus a big, ugly alien. What isn't there to love?

Ahh the 80s, where action films were at their peak of 'masculinity' and homo-eroticism. A beautiful time. The two poster boys of this kind of action film were clearly Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sly and Arnie. The Italian Stallion and the Austrian Oak. The rivalry that these two shared during the decade is well documented and so I won’t dip into it here, but if you ask me there is no question who wins, and that is Schwarzenegger. I'm not sure how there can be any argument in this. Sure, Stallone is probably the better actor and made moves with the Rambo franchise kicking off in 1982 and also continuing the very popular Rocky franchise at the same time (for better or worse) but Schwarzenegger starred in The Terminator (1984) which is often regarded as a film classic and also spawned a sequel which is also held in high esteem. It could be said that his role in this film makes him the victor regardless of the rest of his filmography, but that would be a huge injustice, because if you think that The Terminator is better than Predator (1987) then, I'm sorry, but we can't be friends. For my money Predator is one of the best action films ever made. It is the perfect mix of superb action, suspense, one-liners and likeable characters, and above all it is just unbelievable amounts of fun. The film follows Dutch, played by the wonderful enigma that is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is the head of a rogue squad of the US army who are ordered to help CIA agent Dillon (Carl Weathers) help rescue a Cabinet Minister who has potentially been taking hostage. They travel to the jungle where they find a downed helicopter and skinned bodies of Green Berets hung from trees. Disgusted by what they believe to be the actions of the enemy forces they march on their camo and deliver a huge amount of death and destruction. As they head to the rendezvous point however they start getting picked off one by one. They start to realise that they are being hunted by this mysterious enemy and it becomes a war between them and it, even if they are not quite sure what it is.

I'll start with a review of the action seeing as this is predominantly an action film. In no uncertain terms the action is fucking superb. As I have harped on about in several of these reviews, I am a huge fan of practical effects and this film goes all in on practical explosions and stunts and it is so much better for it. The scene where the soldiers attack the village is just an incredible action sequence. It starts off slow with the characters taking a stealthy approach to their attack. This helps to build up tension as well as give the audience the knowledge that these men are not only good at their job but also gives indication to the space that they are working in, meaning that when the action kicks in later we are not left confused as to where everyone is in the area. Talking about it kicking off, oh boy does it kick off. It starts with Dutch placing a bomb in the back of a truck, lifting it off its supports (in a show of super strength, because it’s Arnie) and letting it roll into a tent full of enemy soldiers. Then it just a beautiful sequence of real explosions which feel massive, and stunts that feel dangerous and exciting. These stunts involve people physically on fire flying through the air, and also continuing to attack our heroes. The action scenes with the Predator are also great, with lots of creative sequences and dismembered body parts, but it is this initial action scene with its superb practical effects that really take the top spot here. Speaking of practical effects, the film is pretty spot on with all of them. All the scenes of gore look great, if a little over the top, and the Predator design looks superb and is of course now a classic and iconic design, and I am not surprised because it is an awesome design. As for the computer effects, they are pretty poor, especially the invisible effect that the Predator is given. But I can't give too much criticism mainly because of the time period. Computer effects just weren’t great yet, and with the amazing practical effects in the film I can forgive the lacklustre computer ones.

The image above this paragraph gives a hint as to why I love this film. The massive exaggeration of masculinity which is so homo-erotic is just something I find endlessly entertaining. All the characters in this film are these caricatures of a certain kind of manhood and even if the film is trying to take this seriously it comes off so tongue in cheek and I just love it. The two best examples of this film are the two characters shown above, Dutch and Dillon. This visual that the film gives us is one of the first scenes in the film and sets a precedent for the rest of the film. Arnold is brilliant at doing this. He is not a great actor in any sense of the word, but he has an unbelievable amount of charisma and on-screen presence regardless. He may be a quite wooden actor but you're lying if you say that he isn't endlessly entertaining in this film, especially when he goes one on one with the Predator for the final act of the film. He is perfect for this role because it doesn't take much acting, and is a role based around having a huge amount of strength and dexterity, something Schwarzenegger clearly has in abundance. Carl Weathers is a much more capable actor and is also just so, so cool and he does his job brilliantly as the CIA agent who has gone from the field into a desk job and is somewhat emasculated by this choice of career path. If I was writing a film essay I could probably go into a whole analyses of what that means theme wise, but I am not and so I will just say that Weathers does a good job, as do pretty much all the actors in the film, even if they are only there as cannon fodder and are really not what the film focuses on. However, one thing that they are need for are the amazing one-liners and oh boy are there some amazing one-liners. Some have gone down in pop culture history, 'get to the chopper' and all that, but that is only scratching the surface of the one-liner heaven that is this film.

If you haven't seen Predator already I can't recommend it enough, even if you don't think it is the kind of film you would usually like because I felt that way before I first watched it. When I first put it in to give it a watch I was preparing for a film that would be entertaining but not an especially well-made film that was funny for being dated, but it isn't that at all. It is a very well-made film and is funny but in places where it is meant to be funny, like it is suspenseful where it is meant to be suspenseful and exciting where it is meant to be exciting. It has gone down as a classic and I couldn't agree more, it is honestly so much bloody fun. My only hope is that the new sequel can capture any of the fun that this film has, but from what I’ve heard of it so far, I may be left disappointed.

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