I love the first Predator film. I even quite enjoyed Predator 2 even though it isn't anything special (and could be argued that it isn't even good). So, when I found out that there was a new Predator film set to hit cinemas, and written and directed by Shane Black no less, I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited yet tentative. My initial wariness came mainly from the fact that Shane Black's directing credits have been anything special, but I was excited by the fact that he would be writing it as I am a fan of his witty and quick style of writing. Then the film came out and I started to hear rumblings. Rumblings of discontent, anger and disappointment. My expectations were suddenly reaching low peaks for a film I had been very excited about. However, I tried to avoid reviews so as to not be influenced by what other people thought of the film. I wanted to go in impartial and objective, so I could give the film a fair review. As it turned out, the rumblings were right. This film is fucking awful. Honestly, I hated it. Maybe it’s because my love for the original Predator is so strong nd this film basically spits in its face, or maybe it is just because it is that bad. I reckon it might be a bit of both. The film opens with a space chase between a Predator ship and unknown ship (except it’s not unknow because we know it’s a big Predator, you can thank the trailers for that one). The smaller ship is damaged and crash lands in the same location as our hero, Quinn McKenna (Boyd Holbrock), who takes some of the Predator technology and mails it to his P.O. box. He is then taken by the government who want to keep his knowledge of the Predator under wraps, so they throw him on the looney bus with other army prisoners. At the same time the sneaky, shady, big, bad government invites Casey Brackett (Olivia Munn) to inspect the Predator and help them experiment on it. However, the Predator escapes, as do Quinn and the Prisoners and they, as well as Casey, follow the Predator to Quinn's home where they believe the Predator is heading to take back his stolen technology. Whilst there the Uber Predator shows up, and from there out it is our heroes running from both the scary government and the scary Predator. And it's shit.
I guess I’ll start this review with some positives. Firstly, Shane Blacks style for writing does shine through on occasion, with there being some good interactions between the characters. Speaking of characters, they are actually characters here rather than just cannon fodder for the Predator. All the main players have distinct personalities and are pretty likeable. All these characters are also performed well by all the actors involved. The best bit of acting in the film comes from Sterling K. Brown who plays Traeger, the evil head of the government agency hunting down our heroes. He seems to understand the kind of film he is in more so than any of the other actors, meaning that he is not afraid to go overboard on the whole evil villain character, chewing the scenery and just seeming to have a great time. He is the most entertaining character in the cast, but the rest of the characters are also fine although no one is particularly memorable or stands out. The main positive that comes out of this film is the gore. This film is not afraid to have some cool, gory visuals with one of the first moments of the film having a man hung upside down, cut in half and with his guts spilling out on to the floor. It is the kind of gore that the Predator series is brilliant at and this film is no different, and it is easily the best part of the film. Finally, the costume design of the small Predator is great as always. I have said it before, but the design is one of my favourites in the history of aliens in film and it is always cool to see. Well, now that the positives are out of the way let’s get into the fun part and talk about the reasons this film is shit.
First of all, the film feels like it was absolutely butchered in the editing room. There are so many cases where characters will do something or have something that they couldn't possibly have known to do or how to use, or at least we as an audience never see how they learn to use it or know to do something. This is a huge problem for me because it just means that the characters who have been written well for the most part suddenly just become plot devices and lose so much of the character that they have been given just so they can serve the plot. Secondly, there is an important character in this film who happens to be a kid. Now, in the film the kid does have a purpose to the plot and so isn't completely pointless, but (and this is a big but) he is still a fucking kid actor who is mainly there so the main characters can have something to protect and it’s a trope I’m so fucking sick of in films. I wouldn't be to be bothered if the kid could act, but he can't, he is wooden as holy hell and I don't need him in a Predator film. Thirdly, and speaking of Predators, the new, big, Uber Predator is terrible. It seems like the filmmakers and sat there and gone "Hey, we have this iconic character, how can we make it scarier?" "Oh, I don't know Phil, why don't we make him 11 feet and have an exoskeleton, oh and we can make him completely CGI and look shitty" "Greg, you are a genius, promotions all round!". Fuck this computer-generated turd, the original Predator is cool enough. What makes it all worse is that all the action this dumb piece of crap is involved in is confusing and boring all in sequence. I don't think one action film in this film got me excited. Well, actually one did but that one involved the normal Predator, not this CG abomination. And last, but very much not least, are the biggest spit in my face moment this film had to offer. The worst part of the film. The moment where I literally thought the world couldn't get much darker. Fucking Predator dogs... are you kidding me? There is not much more I can say about this other than the big Predator has Predator dogs. Literal Predator dogs. I'll shout it for people in the back... FUCKING PREDATOR DOGS!
This film is terrible. It is probably the worst film I've seen this year, but I feel like my hatred for it does come mainly from my absolute love of the first film. The acting is fine, and the writing can sometimes be smart, and the gore is brilliant. Technically it is not a shabby film either with nice shot composition and the set pieces being set up and shot well. But the action is boring, the story is confusing, and the editing and continuity is so choppy that it is impossible to get invested in what's going on. Also, I just can't stand this new big Predator and his stupid dumb dogs. I honestly can't stand them. Just give me the OG Predator, he is awesome and didn’t need to get bigger to get better. However, if you are someone who likes a film less for character and continuity and you just want to see a film where a Predator killing people in super gory ways you may find this film enjoyable. However, I personally was very, very disappointed and I will be surprised if come the end of the year it isn't bottom of my list. With all this negativity I am throwing around I almost forgot to mention the ending. I won't spoil it, but it is an ending which feel like the film has gone "You thought all that was bad, well you have seen nothing yet!"