When I sat down to watch this film I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea what the story was or who the cast was. However, I definitely did not sit down expecting to watch a 'Home Alone' (1990) knock off. And yet that is exactly what I got, and that is 100% not a good thing. 'Christmas Break-In' (2018) is genuinely shocking. No so much in the quality of the film-making but in the absolute shamelessness in its stealing from a Christmas classic. I shit you not, my jaw was agape on several occasions at the sheer audacity of the filmmakers. It doesn't help that the film is also absolute crap. The film follows Izzy (Cameron Seely) who, after being forgotten by her business minded parents and subsequently left alone at school, decides to make the most of the situation and run riot. When a storm starts to come in a concerned Ray (Danny Glover), who is the schools janitor, goes back to the school to check on Izzy where he is captured by the Ice Cream bandits, a group of criminals taking shelter in the school. It is now up to Izzy to save Ray and capture these bandits. As you can imagine she does this by laying traps. You know. Like that other child character form a certain Christmas film who has to stop bandits...
I can't understate the absolute thievery of this film. It is not just in the basic story line which is pretty identical with just a couple locations and situations changed, but there is stuff in this film which is so on the nose that it is laughable. The best example of this in the sequence where Izzy realises she has the school to herself. It is almost a carbon copy of the scene in 'Home Alone', from the dialogue to the montage sequence of Izzy wreaking havoc around the school. I was stunned watching this at the sheer level of cheek and lack of creativity from these filmmakers, and it isn't helped by just how bad the film is. The cinematography is terrible, the editing is atrocious and the writing is laughable and this is shown no better than in the scenes with Izzy's parents, Heather (Denise Richards) and Pete (Sean O'Bryan), attempting to reach the school. These scenes are used for slapstick, but they are shot so terribly that every single moment of slapstick has no comedic impact at all. Every single moment of slapstick is basically implied. By this I mean that ll you see is the reaction and the aftermath. You don't see the action. The actual moment of slapstick, so the bit which might be funny, is missing. You don't see it. It feels as though they have just all been cut out in the editing room . It is so jarring when you watch it and the amount of times it happens is absurd. What the hell are the filmmakers doing? Was there not enough budget to show the actual moments of slapstick? I don't know, and honestly I don't really care. This film isn't worthy of my caring.
When it comes to performances the film starts to pick up a little (emphasis on little). Both Denise Richards and Sean O'Bryan are fine as the parents. Although they are meant to be funny, and they are not so maybe they're shit? No. No they're okay. Cameron Seeley is also okay in the role of Izzy. She is nothing special. She is a little bland and her delivery of dialogue can be shoddy at times, but she has charm to her and she seems like she is having a lot of fun so I can't shit on her to much. I can't say I enjoyed the performances of Katrina Begin, Douglas Spain and Jake Van Wagoner as the Ice Cream Bandits, but I feel like they're performances are based almost entirely on the shoddy writing and poor direction and they were seemingly doing the best with what they had to work with. There is one performance within this film which is a stand out, at least when compared to the rest, and that comes form Danny Glover as Ray. Now, I don't want to build this performance up as this triumph of screen acting, but it almost feels like that when compared to the rest of the mediocre performances. He plays Ray as this person who you can tell is grizzled and worn down but who is charming and warm and is easily the most likeable character within the film. The only problem I had with it is that all I could do when watching the film was wonder why on earth Danny Glover was doing this? He might of felt the script was strong or he just wanted to make a fun Christmas film, or maybe he just wanted the paycheck. Honestly, I can't have a go at him for any of these reasons, I just feel like he is above this film. Like, way above this film. But that's not for me to say, and it doesn't fit with the spirit of the season (see what this film is doing to me!)
As I sat and wrote about this film I realised I hated maybe a lot more than I initially felt and I think that says a lot about the sheer mediocrity of the film, but also to the absolutely disgusting ways it rips off 'Home Alone' a film I really, really enjoy. Don't watch it. There is no reason for you to watch it. Watch 'Home Alone', 'Home Alone 2', fuck it why not watch 'Home Alone 3'. All of these options will be a better way for you to spend your time than watching this shit. Fuck this film.