This film is pretty notorious. It has been included on many worst christmas films of all time lists, and it even goes as far as people placing this on worst films of all time lists. Naturally I was pretty tentative going in. Now having watched it I will say that it should be no way near any of those lists. It isn't good. Its stupid, it hasn't aged massively well and it fails quite a lot on the comedy front. But to put 'Jingle All The Way' (1996) on worst films of all time lists is going a bit far. Its bad. Very bad. But I'll tell you what, it was never boring. The story follows Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a incredibly busy business man who, due to work, has neglected spending time with his family. To make it up to his son, Jamie (Jake Lloyd), he promises to get him the new Turbo Man action figure. He forgets until Christmas Eve and it then becomes a mad rush around New York to get an action figure, while fighting a mailman, Myron Larabee (Sinbad), who is trying to do the same.
Lets get into the things I enjoyed about the film. It moves. It doesn't hit standstills very often and it does rush by. It does help that it is under ninety minutes, but I was never bored and was mildly entertained throughout. I cannot explain why I found it entertaining, because it really isn't good. First of all, it is meant to be a comedy but there are zero laughs throughout. I'm sure kids would be laughing hysterically at all the silly people doing silly things. But for me it just is not funny throughout. It can also be annoying at several points, especially one character who I will get to shortly. The special effects have aged terribly. There aren't many of them, but there is a set-piece towards the end of the film that is chock full of horrible looking CGI which is really hard to look at. There are also some questionable choices in direction, with some bizzare shots and weird editing. It is directed mostly fine throughout, which then makes these choices in direction even more bizarre. And yet, despite these flaws, I still found it entertaining. I can't put my finger on exactly why, but I do have a theory about why.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. The man oozes charisma in a way that is indescribable. He is not a good actor, but he has a presence and he his hard to take your eyes off. This is the same in this film. He doesn't put in a good performance. He is emotionally pretty wooden and some of his line reading are pretty questionable. And yet I just find him endlessly watchable. He is the only reason I can think of that I didn't despise this film. However, Sinbad was close to making me hate this film. His performance is insufferable. It grated on me, and every time he showed up I wanted to gauge out my eyes and rip off my ears. It is one of the most unfunny performances in a comedy I have ever seen. Fuck this performance. Jake Lloyd is also terrible but I'm not going to harp on it about it. He is a kid and he has already been abused enough for his performance as Anakin so I will leave it alone. There is one more performance I want to mention and that is the performance of Phil Hartman as Ted Maltin, the sleazy next door neighbour who is trying to make a move on Howard's wife. He is so sleazy in the film and Hartman plays it brilliantly. He is so dislikable throughout. A horrible man and credit to Hartman for making him that horrible.
'Jingle All The Way' is no way near as bad as you have been led to believe. It is bad. The comedy consistently falls flat, the special effects are horrible and Sinbad put in a performance that made me want to throw myself out my window. But it is mostly entertaining and I was never bored. It also has Arnold in it which instantly makes it better. So you know what? I would recommend this film. Its very much a one and done kind of film, but I think if you're bored you kind find a lot of worse things to do to pass the time.