We are coming to the end of another year, but with the close of 2019 we will also see the close of the 2010s. There was no way I was going to the let the decade end without jumping on that bandwagon that is end of the decade lists. Two of them in fact. Here is the first of those two lists, my worst films of the decade. I think it is important for me to say that these films have made this list based on my personal opinion. If you like any of the films on this list that is okay, although a little questionable. Whatever, it's personal preference and it isn't for me to say what films are bad and good. So, lets not string this out. Here are the ten worst pieces of shit released this decade.
#10: Wolves at the Door (2016)
Starting off our list with a film that is just grim. Technically it isn't terrible. It is a trope filled and cliched horror film, but it executes those cliches decently well and all the actors do an okay job. But the subject matter is where this film becomes heinous. All this film is is an hour and half recreation of the murder of Sharon Tate by the Manson family. That is it. It is ridiculously disrespectful and exploitative of an actual murder case, and seemingly has no regard for the actual victims, just serving them up as 'entertainment'. There are ways of making films about horrific acts in history, but this piece of shit is definitely not it. It would seem that the filmmakers knew this film was terrible as all the marketing claimed that it had nothing to do with the real life murders. Exploitative and disgusting, this films only upside is that it is damn short.
#9: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Talk about a completely forgettable film. The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' franchise was already pretty terrible at this point after 'At World's End', so the fourth one was going to have to be decent to drag it back. Instead, this film flushed the last remaining hope I had for this franchise right down the shitter. Jack Sparrow was pretty unbearable by this point and all the new characters are unbelievably bland. I am obviously not the only person who thought this as they were gone from the 5th film. I saw this in the cinema and don't remember any of it, except the disdain I had when the credits started to roll. Dull and lifeless, this should have been the final nail in the coffin for the franchise.
#8: Elves (2018)
Here is one I watched quite recently and a film that I described as the worst film I have ever seen. Why is it down at number 8? Because it is hard to hate it to much. It just exists as this crock of shit. Yes, it is genuinely fucking awful but it is not worthy of thinking of after you've seen it. I have a whole review on this film if you'd like to read it, but it is honestly about the same length as this paragraph, that is how little the film is worth talking about.
#7: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
This is a film that took me several attempts to sit through. It was a film that I bought on DVD very early into my love of film, which started as a love of horror films. I sat through a lot of shit in those days. Not this film. Not this piece of crap. It probably doesn't help that I do have a love of the original film and I have a general dislike of remakes, but there is something about this one that really gets me riled. Its biggest crimes are that it is boring and not in the least bit scary. For a 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' film to be both is the worst crime you can commit.
#6: Nativity 3: Dude Where's My Donkey?! (2014)
Here is another I watched and reviewed recently so I will keep this one short. This film was endlessly frustrating and annoying. The narrative was incomprehensible, the acting was lazy, the writing was horrible and the music was cack. Very little else to say. If you want to see me go in to more detail feel free to read the whole review. But be warned, the film is horrible.
#5: The Lion King (2019)
On to our first Disney remake (yes, there is more than one on this list) and here is where I tend to differ from the wider audience. This film may have made a butt load of money but profit does not equate to quality. This film is a complete and total waste of time and resources. A lifeless and soulless film which takes all the heart of the original and stomps it into the ground before proceeding to hide behind state of the art special effects. This film tried to be super realistic looking, and in doing so lost all emotion. Because, I don't know if you have noticed, its hard to read emotions in LIONS. I'm getting annoyed writing about this again so go read my full review, I go in pretty damn hard on this shite.
#4: Holmes and Watson (2018)
I knew this film was going to be absolute cack from the first time I saw the trailer. However, I did not expect the film to be as horrifically bad as it turned out to be. It is a film that claims to be a comedy but it is devoid of anything slightly resembling a joke. Any sense of joy also seems to be mysteriously absent. It's always disappointing when two actors who you like, and who have made funny films together before, make something as terrible as this film turned out to be, but it was also not surprising in this case. This was a chore to sit through and I don't wish the experience upon anyone.
#3: Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Here comes the second Disney remake, and the worst one they have put out to date (at least of the ones I have seen). My genuine hatred for this film mainly comes from my genuine love of the original animated film. This version doesn't hold a fucking candle to it. Despite being an almost word for word remake, they fail to improve on any aspect of the original. All the music is substandard, the acting is below par and changes to characters actually made them a lot less likeable, especially in the case of the Beast who is ridiculously forgettable for one of the title characters. I could honestly put all the Disney remakes I have seen on this list, but this one is top of that particular shit pile.
#2: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Oh this film... When I first came out of this film I had very little to say about it. I thought it was just fine. Then I started to talk about it. And I started to dislike it. Then I spoke about it more. And I started to hate it. Then I spoke about it some more. And now I despise it. This film is just pure fan fiction, written by J.K Rowling herself. It is a nudge nudge, wink wink film which forgoes plot and narrative to get cheap reactions out of the rabid fanbase. It goes for plot twists regardless of how they fit into the wider story just so all the characters can be connected somehow. It takes characters from the Harry Potter franchise and effectively shits on them just to have them in the film. Nagini is the main culprit in this. This film infuriated me into realising that maybe I was a bigger fan of Harry Potter than I thought, so I can thank it for that I guess. But seriously, fuck this piece of shit and fuck the sequels that will inevitably continue to make billions of dollars.
#1: Jack and Jill (2011)
This fucking film. Not only is it my least favourite film of this decade, it is my least favourite film of all time. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it. I loathe it with all my being. The worst piece of ass that Adam Sandler has shat out upon this earth, and he has shat out a lot of ass. A completely unfunny, offensive and soulless piece of money grabbing garbage. This film needs to be sent to the depths of hell, never mentioned again, wiped from history. Unfortunately it is to late for me. My eyes, ears and mind have already been subjected to thus heinous excuse for filmmaking. Fuck everyone involved in creating this god forsaken piece of arse. I'm getting ridiculously pissed off just writing about this. Fuck it. Fuck it to oblivion. 'Jack and Jill', the worst film of the 2010s, and of all time.
