The discussion of film as art is a reoccurring one with people making plenty of valid arguments on either side of the discussion. I tend to fall on the side that films are in fact art. However, if this is indeed the case then films like 'Zombeavers' (2014) are the equivalent of the shit a toddler farts out, and you wack on the fridge, pretending to like it. That analogy is quite apt in this case as this film has a remarkably high rotten tomatoes score sitting at 69% critically. These critics are the parents in this analogy as they must be pretending to like the film. After all, it is pure shit. The film follows a group of teen girls who are spending the weekend in a cabin so that one of them, Jenn (Lexi Atkins), can get over her boyfriend who cheated on her. However, their trip is disturbed by the girl's boyfriends, including Jenn's ex, Sam (Hutch Dano). The situation in the cabin is as awkward and tense as expected, but the group must come together when a horde of zombie beavers start to attack them. Who will be the last species standing, humans or beavers?
It probably didn't come as any surprise to you that I found this film to be a gigantic piece of ass, but I went into it (as I try to do with all films) with an open mind. Yes, it sounded dumb and I was not expecting any form of high art to come out of it, but I am not very well at the minute and it seemed a good film to kind of sit and just watch and enjoy the silliness of it. And it does have a couple of these silly fun moments. I mean anytime a beaver is on screen is worth a chuckle because these things do look so bad it is funny, and I feel like this was intentional on the filmmaker's part. The gore effects on the beavers are also pretty decent. There is one scene in particular where a beaver has been split down the middle, only being held together by its guts. The two halves of the beaver move independently of each other and although it looks a little wonky, it is a fun effect and got a chuckle. Like the design of the beaver, I think the filmmakers wanted the effects to look a little janky. After all, the film is meant to be a satire of crappy, horror B-movies. The problem is that it doesn't succeed on a satirical level, and instead just becomes a crappy B-movie itself. The narrative is your standard slasher style narrative with your group of horny teens being killed off, and it keeps the conventions of these types of horror films. So the elements for satire are there, but they just don't land at all. One of the main reasons for this is the fact that this film is a supposed comedy, supposed being the keyword.
I can't emphasise enough that this film is one of the least funny pieces of crap I have ever seen. Not one attempt at a joke lands. Not a single one. And you know what you shouldn't do when a joke doesn't land? Repeat it. Over, and over again. There is one joke in particular that they recycle consistently, to the point where a character asks if they can stop making that joke. You can probably guess what it is, I mean it is a film about beavers. But it isn't just this joke, every joke is so unbelievably unfunny and follows along those same lines, basically bing jokes about sex and nothing else. However, what pushes this film from just being unfunny garbage to being hard to sit through are the fucking characters we have to deal with in this film. It has seemingly become a trend in slasher style films where they make the characters extremely unlikeable, and I kind of get it as its more fun to watch characters you don't like die rather than characters who you empathise with. The issue with this way of thinking is that we have to put up with these obnoxious aresholes.throughout the majority of the film, and that is no fun at all. The characters in this film are some of the worst, most deplorable characters I have seen in horror ever. Despite this they are acted pretty decently across the board and if the satire had landed than it would have been perfect as they are the type of characters you find in these films turned to 11. However, as the satire doesn't land they instead just become completely detestable. And yes, I did want to see them die but no way near as much as I just wanted to turn the film off so I didn't have to spend any more time with them. Oh, and how could I forget where they reference 'Jaws' (1975) with a character shouting 'get out of the water' while the famous zoom shot is used on her. Is this a crime? No. But I fucking love 'Jaws' and seeing that pop up in a film this shit got under my skin (yes, I need to get a life).
Maybe it is because I'm ill and not in the best of moods but 'Zombeavers' really fucking grated me. Of course, it isn't meant to be taken seriously and I went into it wanting to just veg out and enjoy a stupid horror film. But the lack of comedy, the abhorrent characters, and the overall absence of fun meant that I instead just find myself wanting to do anything else. Don't waste your time on this film, it is just pure shit.