And we're back for the second Franchsie Friday and this is lovely change of pace from 'Twilight'. I can't rememebr if as a kid it was the 'Jurassic Park ' films that got me into dinosaurs or if it was dinoasurs that got me into the film. Either way I fucking love dinosaurs and I really enjoy this franchise. Although I do have to admit that I may have gone overboard at the end of my last 'Franchsie Firday'. There I said that this was a franchise I 'genuinely love'. Now, after haiving seen them all again, 'love' seems far to strong a word. Either way lets crack on with it.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Spoiler warning right off the bat, but nothing else in this franchise even comes close to the first instalment. It still holds up even to do this day. Although there a couple of moments where the CGI is noticeable it still looks remarkable for being 27 years old and it is completely down to the use of both CGI and animatronics. The animatronics by the way are incredible and I absolutely adore them. I mean what else can I say about this film? It is Spielberg at his very best. The direction is masterful, and it is backed up by another perfect John Williams score. All the characters are fantastic, and the cast is spot on in pulling the characters off. It is in the characters that film stands out because it becomes so much more than just a film about dinosaurs running amok. There is genuine character growth and development that allows you to become so much more involved with the film. That’s not to take anything away from the dinosaur scenes mind because they are what the people come to see. That T-Rex scene remains one of the greatest in cinema full stop, and the ending is equally as iconic. There is very little else to add that hasn’t been said 1000 times before. It remains a cinema classic and is one of my all-time favourites. The rest of the franchise can’t hold a candle to it.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
There is something about this film that is just so meh. Despite all the action that is going on in front of my face, with all the screaming, and the teeth, I just feel nothing. This is a film that is all spectacle and no emotion. I don’t think it is for the want of trying, but all the new characters that are introduced to give the film its emotional centre end up just rubbing me the wrong way. Even the returning Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm has had all the charm sucked out of his character. It also doesn’t help that the film is also dumb as shit. It’s attempts at comedy consistently fall flat nd some of the dialogue is genuinely horrific. It is also home to the gymnastics scene. You know the one I’m talking about, where Jeff Goldblum’s daughter does a gymnastics routine before kicking a velociraptor out of window. Aside from being unintentionally hilarious it is also one of the most stupid scenes in cinema history. The velociraptor even looks at the girl before the impact and gives out a shocked expression for fuck sake. On a technical level it is solid which is the least you would expect form a Spielberg film, but I just feel nothing watching it and it drags on for what feels like an eternity. I used to like this as a kid but oh boy is it a stinker. But don’t you worry, the dumb train has only just set off and it is picking up speed quickly.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Next stop, ‘Jurassic Park III’ and this is a proper dumb one. In technical filmic terms this is much worse than ‘The Lost World’ and that isn’t particularly uprising seeing as Spielberg is no longer in the chair. It is still a good film in terms of direction, cinematography, etc., but the other two films were much more aesthetically pleasing. What this film does better than its predecessor, however, it is much more fun. Unlike ‘The Lost World’ this film stays the right side of dumb. Yes, the talking to velociraptors by blowing through a 3D printed velociraptor vocal chamber is ridiculous, but apart from that the film doesn’t ever go to overboard whilst still being stupid enough to be a fun time. And even in the one moment where it does go overboard, it goes so far over the top that it becomes comical and I see that as a positive personally. If you don’t know which scene I’m talking about it involves a velociraptor, sat in a plane and saying ‘Alan’ (comedy gold). I know that most people tend to put this film at the bottom of their rankings for this franchise, but I don’t really get why. It might just be a sense of nostalgia I feel towards it, but I don’t think that is entirely fair. Yes, it’s stupid but it least it doesn’t ever get boring and it is also a breeze at under 90 minutes long which is a huge positive when your films quality is nothing to write home about. Anyway, onto the next one and the first in the ‘Jurassic World’ Section of the franchise.
Jurassic World (2015)
If you thought the last two films had dumb moments step forward ‘Jurassic World’. In the case of this film I say that completely as a positive. This film still remains a ton of fun despite how stupid it is, and it is very, very stupid. But it doesn’t quite jump the shark and is a genuinely great time. Okay, lets point out the bad stuff. The romantic relationship between Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard is cliched as all hell. It isn’t distracting but it’s the same deal as you have seen in so many other films. There is also a whole plot point with the two kids’ parents getting a divorce which has nothing to do with the film at all and could have easily been taken out of the film and nothing would change at all. In fact, there are a lot of character relationships that could have been taken out of the film and it would have made no difference. And I feel like that is because the film doesn’t really car. Maybe I am wrong but for me this film wants to be a straight up monster film and the relationships are thrown in there just because it’s a movie and you need some character stuff. And I am here for it. Monster movies are the one thing I can deal with being pretty dumb as long as they give me cool monsters, in this case dinosaurs, doing cool things. The character stuff, while still important, is secondary. As long as it is a fun time I will buy in and I totally buy in to this film. At the same time, I completely get why people may dislike it because it is so ridiculous, but it doesn’t bother me. That isn’t to say that I have a complete tolerance for dumb shit, you can go way too far with it and if you haven’t clocked that I may be talking about ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ well I’ll just tell you. I’m talking about ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Yeah, this film is shit. It is actually worse than I remember it being. After seeing it in the cinema I thought it wasn’t good but had enough fun moments to not make it horrendous. Maybe I was drunk because this film is genuinely awful. First of all, fuck Franklin. I don’t blame the actor; I have seen him in other stuff, and he is decent. But this character is meant to be your comic relief but instead you find yourself wanting him to get eaten at every possible opportunity. Genuinely one of the most annoying characters put on to screen. Secondly, just fucking what? Cloned kids, are you serious? These films are ridiculous, yes, but cloned kids? Are you high? That whole reveal is criminal even before the little shit decides to open up the door to let these genetically modified death machines wreak havoc on the world. Fuck you let the bastards die. I’m sorry but trying to make a moment where all the dinosaurs escape into the world be sentimental and lovely is outrageous. None of this lunacy is helped by the fact the film is just dull as all hell. Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard remain shining lights in the darkness, but even their relationship is reset so we can get even more shitty, cliched, Hollywood romance bullshit that we sae literally one film ago. Also, Jeff Goldblum is in this film for 2 minutes. Those trailers lied to you my friends. With all of this negativity coming from someone who enjoyed ‘Jurassic World’ I can’t even imagine what people who hated it think of this film. There is one thing about this film that I will held dear to me, however. It was the first film I ever reviewed on this site. No wonder I’m so bitter.
Like I said up top, having rewatched all these films again I have to say that I was wrong when I professed to love this franchise. There is one genuinely amazing film mixed in with a lot of mediocre to downright poor ones, and yet I would still say overall I like this franchise. Why? I just really love dinosaurs and monster movies and this franchsie gives me both. That is why I am excited for the next film, 'Jurassic World: Dominion', to come out next year. Even if it is shit you can expect me to be there early doors to soak in that dino action.