As you might be able to tell if you read my reviews often, I do quite enjoy watching bad films from time to time. I have been questioned as to why I go out of my way to watch films I know are going to be bad, and the answer is because I enjoy bad films, or at least I enjoy them some of the time. Most of the time I can find something to enjoy in bad films, whether they be so bad that they become funny or there be one good aspect to the film that I can get into it. I just love films, so I am never going into a film wanting to hate it. So, despite the fact that I have now heard for over a year about just how bad ‘Cats’ (2019) is I went in hoping to at least enjoy it for its camp. The film follows a group of cats on the night of the Jellicle ball where one cat will be chosen to go to the Heaviside layer. Work it out for yourself.
I hope you weren’t expecting a long review because this will be short. I fucking hated this piece of shit. Even more so than I had even expected after hearing so much about how bad the film is. But it is just a train wreck. And I like Tom Hooper. I really enjoyed ‘Les Miserables’ (2012) and ‘The King’s Speech’ (2010), and ‘The Damned United’ (2009) is one of my favourite films of all time. ‘Cats’ is literally one of the worst things I have ever seen. You don’t need me to tell you that the special effects in the film are horrendous as this is the main issue that has been brought up time and time again. But it is just the tip of the iceberg. The film was always on the back foot, to begin with as a large chunk of the film is focused on dancing and I couldn’t give less of a shit. I just don’t get dancing as an art form and as this film replaces narrative with a bunch of dancing and completely unrelated scenes it meant that not only was I bored but I was also annoyed. And the lack of narrative really hinders the film. I assume the stage show doesn’t have a strong narrative, or if it does maybe they do it better, but any kind of narrative they try to force into this is executed horribly and feels forced as hell. The cast is great, but the performances were horrendous. And maybe the biggest issue with the film, pretty much all the songs were shit which is a huge issue for a musical. I can’t genuinely think of one good thing about the film. It is pure shit from start to finish. I hated it so much.
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