It didn’t take long for me to find a worse Christmas film than Black Christmas (2006). Whereas that film was just bad in its execution, Christmas with the Kranks (2004) actively pissed me off. As a result, I am not going to be giving this film the privilege of a long review. Frankly, it doesn’t deserve it. But also, there is only really one aspect of the film I want to talk about. The story of the film follows the Krank family, Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis), who, after their daughter leaves to go to Peru decide to break from the Christmas tradition and take a cruise to the Bahamas. However, this does not go down well with their neighbours who feel the Kranks are being selfish, and that right there is what pisses me off about this film.
First off let’s get some stuff out of the way, this film, regardless of the fact that it pisses me off, isn’t any good, to begin with. It is full of awkward performances, horrible writing, and is just painfully unfunny, which for a comedy isn’t great. It is mostly shot and edited well enough, but there is one scene that randomly decides to edit to the beat of the soundtrack, and it honestly nearly made me throw up, it was horrendous. But none of that is what pissed me off about this film, no, no, no, no, no. What really pisses me off about this film is that it actually tries to act as though these neighbours are the good guys and the Kranks are in the wrong. Are you kidding me? Fuck this film’s morals. At no point do they make the point that Luther Krank has been selfish around the neighbourhood. In fact, they make the point that he gets involved every year with Christmas, even donating to several charitable causes. But for one year he decides to go away, and skip Christmas and he gets harassed and abused by literally everyone. They are not safe from judgment and abuse anywhere in this godforsaken town. And then when they decide to stay for Christmas, they still get called jerks, and just because the neighbourhood band together to help them with their party suddenly everything's good with them? What a load of shit. There is literally no indication from the film that what the neighbours did was wrong, in fact, it seems to actively suggest that they are the true victims because Luther decides he doesn’t want to get involved in Christmas as a break from it and this upsets these sad, childish bastards who have nothing better to do than spread slander and constantly harass this couple. Honestly, fuck you film. Fuck you. Maybe I was just in a bad mood when I saw this but honestly, I was so annoyed watching these characters be arseholes and then being told ‘oh no, they’re the good guys just trying to save the spirit of Christmas’. Dickheads, all of them
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