I always knew this day would come. I have been aware of the ‘Star Wars Holiday Special’ (1978) for some time, mostly because it is notoriously terrible. So much so that George Lucas has apparently attempted on more than one occasion to destroy every copy of the thing. Whether that is true or not I cannot say. But now that I have seen it, I can definitely say that I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. The film follows Chewbacca’s family as they wait for him to come home to celebrate life day. They are constantly bothered by the Empire who are determined to find Chewbacca and take over the family home to wait for him to return. The family distract themselves through several means that gives the film an excuse to do a lot of random cut-aways. Don’t expect this to be long.
Okay, let's get this out of the way right off the bat. This film is absolute shite. A nightmarish fever dream that has no redeeming features. The best that I can say for it is that it isn’t the worst made film I have ever seen. It is at least competently shot, with at least being very kind. Also, some of the actors are clearly trying, especially Art Carney who is a bit of a saving grace throughout the film. I also got a bit of a kick out of how little Harrison Ford seemed to care. Oh yeah, all the original cast are in this and I feel sorry ad embarrassed for all of them. Apart from this, there is nothing good to say. It isn’t even so bad it is good territory. It starts off that way and there were several times where I burst into spontaneous laughter as if I had been driven mad, but as it went on and, on these moments, became more fleeting. Even the more surrealist, nightmarish moments became more and more sporadic as the film went on so I couldn’t even get any entertainment from that throughout. Oh, and I hope you speak Wookie because 50% of the dialogue in this is entirely in that made-up language and there are no subtitles.
In this paragraph, I want to focus on some of the scenes in this film that show just how shite it truly is. It is just completely nonsensical, and I have no idea who it appeals to. For one, there are three songs in this film that are some of the worst pieces of music you have ever heard, and poor Carrie Fisher has to sing one of them. One of the other songs is in the Mos Eisley Cantina and made me want to die. The third I will get to. There is also an animated sequence which many people say is the best part of the special. First of all, that is not saying much. Secondly, that is probably correct. Thirdly, it is still absolutely shit. The animation is horrible, the character design, especially on Han Solo, is horrific, and the narrative is laughable. And now we come to the final song and also the worst part of the special. This is where the grandpa Wookie, Itchy (I am not fucking kidding), is watching the Star Wars equivalent of VR porn. I wish I was joking but it is quite on the nose. This is also the scene for the third song of the film, which is equally as bad as the other two, only far less memorable.
I think this film has rotted my brain. It is complete arse, and I can’t believe it actually exists. It is just so bizarre and weird, but also just pure shit. Don’t watch it. Unless you want to get very drunk and watch it, in that case, I may very well join you.
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