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The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star: AKA Oceans Princess Switch

Thank God, I have made it to the end of this series. I don’t think I have made it secret, nor will it come as a surprise to many, that the first two films didn’t exactly do much for me. They were cliched, schmaltzy, Christmas rubbish which I was more than happy to move past ad forget about more or less as soon as they had finished. But I could never truly forget them because there was always the final film, The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star (2021), lurking in the background. But, ever the optimist (not sure I have ever described myself as such) I went it to hoping for better. Oh boy… The film joins us back up with our amazing characters, Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Hudgens, and Vanessa Hudgens. Vanessa Hudgens is joined by Vanessa Hudgens to celebrate Christmas, but this year they are also celebrating big and have been loaned the “Star of Peace” from the Vatican. But when the star is stolen, Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens have to get the help of Vanessa Hudgens to help retrieve the star. This leads Vanesa Hudgens to rekindle with an old flame to help them out, and in doing so confront her own past.

If you couldn’t tell, I am fucking done with this series. In some ways, the fact that this film becomes a heist film is respectable as it is the filmmakers admitting they are just completely jumping the shark. But at the same time, it was so bloody boring. The narrative itself is so forced and old hat that there was nothing to get invested in. Also, the main characters are the villains from the last film who I couldn’t stand so woe is me. The film is also so visually so flat and lifeless. There is one scene where a tango dance matches up with two characters avoiding lasers during the heist which is decently done in terms of movement and composition, but the rest is just still camera shots of people standing and talking and being lifeless. It also hits all the notes from the other two films that I couldn’t stand, with it being painfully unfunny, overly sentimental and cliched, and with a score that made me want to stab myself in my ears. I have almost nothing else to say, I fucking hated it. What I will say in the film's defence is that I came into it in not a great mood, to begin with, and the idea of watching this film didn’t exactly appeal to me so maybe it is no way near as bad as I am making it out to be. But, from the moment the opening narration, full of exposition and recaps of the previous films, right until all the cast dancing over the credits (which seems obligatory for truly awful films) I hated it. I can’t possibly recommend it. Only if you really enjoyed the first two and have no self-respect then maybe. Again, maybe harsh, but that shows how much I couldn’t stand this god damn film.

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